Not sure how I feel right now, its all so confusing...

...why do I have to feel like that?

Anyways, I guess I should really start with the fact that my program with Disney is ending in little under four weeks. Now don't get me wrong, I miss my family and friends like you wouldn't believe, but I just do not want to go home. I don't even like my job that much with Disney, and i'm happy that my time with them is over, but I just don't want to leave the life I have gained here over the last five months. I have met some of the nicest people ever and have gotten some life long friends out of this experience, from bith the Uk and Internationally and its gonna be so hard parting from them. I know that these friendships are gonna be life long, but leaving them is almost as hard as it was leaving my family and friends in the UK to come and take part in the college proram with Disney.
Along with this, I have also met a boy. Now nothing is going on, but I have gained a sort of crush on him and that was the last thing I wanted so close to the end of my program, knowing that he is still gonna be over here till January. I don't know how he fells as like I said nothing is going on, but Ijust witsh that I could have met hime earlier.
I know that this doesnt really make any sese to anybody but I just had to write it down in the hope that the frustration and confusion going on im my head will somehow be a little less now that i've gotten it out in the open...

...Now, why havent I told my friends any of this, well I know that some of them are really looking forward top going home and I don't want to burden them with my problems (I know its silly but thats just how I feel) and others, well they are in the exact same position i'm in and they cant relly help me in my situation.

OK, i'm going now. My head hurts with all the stuff going round it, so i'm gonna go and eat food and probably drink vodka in the hope that it takes my mind of this, temporarily of course, as when the food is gone and the alcohol is finished i'm gonna be right back where I started.